Success and Dreams

Everyone has dreams, aspirations, things they want to do, things they want to see, places they want to go. Dreams are good. They drive us to be better and do greater things. But what do you do when you achieve your dream? When the thing you have been working towards for years is finally yours? The thing that was always at the back of your mind, waiting for a gap in your thoughts to explode through into your brain. The thing you have spent countless hours researching, thinking about, freaking out about, and hoping for. What do you do when you realize that your dreams have become your reality? This is a question I now face. Last week, I received my Appointment to the United States Naval Academy. This one paper was the end result of years of work and focus. Now that I'm in, I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, as cliched as that is. Although this sense of relief and safety is comforting, it also reminds me that for me to continue to better myself, I need to develop new dreams. These could be as big as becoming a SEAL or graduating the Academy, or as small as being able to top 100 push ups in the PRT, or running a half marathon in a competitive time. I think people will always need dreams, because as soon as we stop dreaming, we stop pushing ourselves. And if you aren't pushing yourself to be the best "you" you can be, when you've become perfectly content with yourself, that is when you stop really living. 

Failure[?]

Failure: "omission of occurrence or performance; specifically: a failing to perform a duty or expected action" (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary). I know failure. Specifically, I know the consequences related with failure. Failure to do well as a team in football means you lose the game. Failure to study adequately for a test means you don't do as well as you could have. Failure to turn your applications in on time means you aren't eligible for whatever you applied to. Failure to do what is expected of you means people's view of you changes. I think I am driven many times not by the want to succeed, but by the fear of failing myself and the people around me. I have yet to figure out whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. 

You may be wondering why I chose to blog about this or how this thought came to mind. When I was driving home today, it occurred to me that there was only a little over a month until the Naval Academy's admission decision deadline. I turned my application in last September, and it has been five long months of waiting to hear back. Although I am still confident that I will get an appointment (because if I didn't believe that there would not have been any reason to apply,) I wondered what I would think and feel if I did not get in. I immediately thought of a quotation that said (roughly) "the only real failure is not learning from your mistakes." I believe this, but I found it hard to apply to this situation. What exactly could I learn from not being accepted to the Naval Academy? Before I though about it too much and freaked myself out, I switched thoughts. Now, however, the question is hanging in the back of my mind. I hope it is one I don't have to find the answer to.

Football

On Saturday, October 26, I played my last football game.  Even now, almost a week after the game, I still don't think the fact that my high school football career is over has hit me. I don't know if I want it to. Every fall for the last six years my life has been dictated by practices, games, and recovery from said games. It has taught me to learn from my failures and be respectful in victory. It taught me that teamwork is the key to success. After six years of being on a football team, one third of my life, I will probably never put on pads again. Probably. 

One of the varsity sports offered at the Naval Academy is sprint football. Sprint football is exactly like regular football, except everyone has to be 172 pounds or lighter. This makes everyone on the field around the same size. I would have to drop a little weight, but according to some sprint football players at the Academy I talked to, if someone really wants to play they can get down to the weight requirement. I am going back and forth on the pros and cons of trying to play. Obviously I love football and continuing to play it would be amazing, especially at the varsity level. I am concerned about the weight restrictions, however. I've heard of wrestlers who keep their weight at a constant number in order to stay in their weight class but end up stunting their growth in the long run. This is something I have to spend some time thinking about, and I have plenty of time to make a choice. 

Summer of Brotherhood

Last summer was filled with with brotherhood and camaraderie. Between football, the Naval Academy, and UCOIN, I created many new relationships and strengthened old ones. 

My class has always been into football. Since seventh grade, we have had a core group of players. We have always been close, but last summer we realized this was our last season. I think that knowing this has brought us even closer together. It shows this season. We are currently four and one and have created some great team chemistry. While I don't always totally like all of my teammates, when we step onto the field it doesn't matter. That's one of the reasons I love football.

The next experience I had with camaraderie was at the Naval Academy. As I said in my last blog, I was there for six days for their Summer Seminar Program. I became very close to my squad mates because we were all similarly minded and driven to succeed. I sincerely hope that we can all see each other again next June at the Academy's Induction Day. 

The last and most extreme brotherhood experience I had was at UCOIN. As I touched on before, I would do anything for my fellow cadets. The strongest bonds are made through hardship, and hardship was the one thing we had plenty of at UCOIN. This is one of the major reasons I want to join the military. The relationships forged through shared suffering are very hard to break, and I want to experience that.

Throughout my summer, brotherhood has been a recurring theme. I experienced deeper and more meaningful relationships than I ever had before. It makes me excited about what my future can hold.

Snapshots of My Summer

The main entrance to the Academy

Last summer two major things happened, both military related. The first was my week long visit to the US Naval Academy in June. From June 15 until June 20 I was lucky enough to be a part of the Academy's Summer Seminar program. Summer Seminar is a summer camp put on by the Academy to let prospective candidates spend an extended period of time on the Yard (The Academy's campus) to see what life as a midshipman is like. We stayed in the same dorms, ate the same food, went to some of the same classes, and did many of the same things actual midshipmen do. 

Before attending Summer Seminar, I was considering the academy, but afterwards, it became my number one choice. I loved everything about it: the military structure, the campus, the people, and the food. I was Bravo Company, First Platoon, First Squad. I developed great relationships with my squad mates, and we still keep in touch.

McDonald, Lindsey, and me after graduation

The second military-related thing I did last summer was attend an advanced Sea Cadet training: UCOIN. UCOIN, or Urban Counter-Insurgency training, was a seventeen day long training held at Camp Atterbury Joint-Maneuver Training Center in Indiana. It was modeled after the seventeen week long Seal platoon pre-deployment build-up. We survived off two hours of sleep a night and 1000 calories a day. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. This being said, it was also one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. The sixteen cadets at the training became closer than brothers. I would do anything for those guys, and they would all say the same. 

Last summer I learned a lot about myself, the military, and what I want to do with my future. I learned that I can push myself farther than I think I can.I learned how much brotherhood and camaraderie are a part of the military, and how I feel surprisingly at home in the military culture. I hope I can return to the Academy next June to fully join the culture.